Title: Approval Addiction
Scripture: “Fear man will prove to be a snare” (Proverbs 29:1-27 NIV)
For people who hate discipline
and only get more stubborn,
There’ll come a day when life tumbles in and they break,
but by then it’ll be too late to help them.
2 When good people run things, everyone is glad,
but when the ruler is bad, everyone groans.
3 If you love wisdom, you’ll delight your parents,
but you’ll destroy their trust if you run with whores.
4 A leader of good judgment gives stability;
an exploiting leader leaves a trail of waste.
5 A flattering neighbor is up to no good;
he’s probably planning to take advantage of you.
6 Evil people fall into their own traps;
good people run the other way, glad to escape.
7 The good-hearted understand what it’s like to be poor;
the hardhearted haven’t the faintest idea.
8 A gang of cynics can upset a whole city;
a group of sages can calm everyone down.
9 A sage trying to work things out with a fool
gets only scorn and sarcasm for his trouble.
10 Murderers hate honest people;
moral folks encourage them.
11 A fool lets it all hang out;
a sage quietly mulls it over.
12 When a leader listens to malicious gossip,
all the workers get infected with evil.
13 The poor and their abusers have at least something in common:
they can both see—their sight, God’s gift!
14 Leadership gains authority and respect
when the voiceless poor are treated fairly.
15 Wise discipline imparts wisdom;
spoiled adolescents embarrass their parents.
16 When degenerates take charge, crime runs wild,
but the righteous will eventually observe their collapse.
17 Discipline your children; you’ll be glad you did—
they’ll turn out delightful to live with.
18 If people can’t see what God is doing,
they stumble all over themselves;
But when they attend to what he reveals,
they are most blessed.
19 It takes more than talk to keep workers in line;
mere words go in one ear and out the other.
20 Observe the people who always talk before they think—
even simpletons are better off than they are.
21 If you let people treat you like a doormat,
you’ll be quite forgotten in the end.
22 Angry people stir up a lot of discord;
the intemperate stir up trouble.
23 Pride lands you flat on your face;
humility prepares you for honors.
24 Befriend an outlaw
and become an enemy to yourself.
When the victims cry out,
you’ll be included in their curses
if you’re a coward to their cause in court.
25 The fear of human opinion disables;
trusting in God protects you from that.
26 Everyone tries to get help from the leader,
but only God will give us justice.
27 Good people can’t stand the sight of deliberate evil;
the wicked can’t stand the sight of well-chosen goodness.
Message
You can be addicted to a lot of different things like alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, and even food.
But did you know you can also be addicted to approval?
When Moses chose seventy leaders to help govern Israel, he told them, “Do not show partiality in judging; hear both small and great alike. Do not be afraid of any man” (Deuteronomy 1:17 NIV)
That is advice Peter should have taken. “Before certain men came from James, he used to eat with the Gentiles. But when they arrive, he began to draw back and separate himself from the Gentiles because he was afraid of those who belonged to the circumcision group (Galatians 2:12 NIV).
When your identity is wrapped up in other people’s acceptance, you set yourself up for approval addiction, because your sense of self-worth is always on the line.
A notable French author said, “We’re so accustomed to wearing a disguise before others, that eventually we’re unable to recognize ourselves.”
That’s not how God wants you to live!
No one’s approval or disapproval can affect you – unless you give it credibility.
Jesus spoke without feeling the need to create an impression; therefore, He was free to speak the truth in love.
Someone wisely pointed out, that when we are young we worry about what people think and try to please them.
When we are middle-aged, we get tired or trying to please everybody.
And as we get older and wiser, we realize, most of the time, they weren’t even thinking about us at all!
Guess what?
There are times when pleasing God means you won’t be able to please people – and you must accept that!
Let’s get into the Word of God and see what it has to say about all of this…
1 For people who hate discipline
and only get more stubborn,
There’ll come a day when life tumbles in and they break,
but by then it’ll be too late to help them.
Reflection: (Proverbs 29:1)
Warnings rarely come with countdowns.
We can’t tell when we’ve had our last chance to change.
When we, like the person in this proverb, refuse to consider valid criticism, we leave ourselves realize that a change is necessary is the best moment to take action.
What significant adjustments have been on hold in your life for too long?
2 When good people run things, everyone is glad,
but when the ruler is bad, everyone groans.
3 If you love wisdom, you’ll delight your parents,
but you’ll destroy their trust if you run with whores.
4 A leader of good judgment gives stability;
an exploiting leader leaves a trail of waste.
5 A flattering neighbor is up to no good;
he’s probably planning to take advantage of you.
6 Evil people fall into their own traps;
good people run the other way, glad to escape.
7 The good-hearted understand what it’s like to be poor;
the hardhearted haven’t the faintest idea.
8 A gang of cynics can upset a whole city;
a group of sages can calm everyone down.
9 A sage trying to work things out with a fool
gets only scorn and sarcasm for his trouble.
10 Murderers hate honest people;
moral folks encourage them.
11 A fool lets it all hang out;
a sage quietly mulls it over.
12 When a leader listens to malicious gossip,
all the workers get infected with evil.
13 The poor and their abusers have at least something in common:
they can both see—their sight, God’s gift!
Reflection: (Proverbs 29:13)
“The Lord gives sight to the eyes of both” means that everyone depends on God for sight.
Both the oppressor and the poor have the gift of sight from the same God.
God sees and judges both, and His judgment falls on those whose greed or power drives them to oppress the poor.
14 Leadership gains authority and respect
when the voiceless poor are treated fairly.
15 Wise discipline imparts wisdom;
spoiled adolescents embarrass their parents.
Reflection: (Proverbs 29:15)
Parents of young children often weary of disciplining them.
They feel like all they do is nag, scold, and punish.
When you’re tempted to give up and let your children do what they want, or when you wonder if you’ve ruined every chance for a loving relationship with them, remember that kind, firm correction helps them learn, and learning makes them wise.
Consistent, loving discipline will ultimately teach them to discipline themselves.
16 When degenerates take charge, crime runs wild,
but the righteous will eventually observe their collapse.
Reflection: (Proverbs 29:16)
When the wicked are in leadership, sin prevails.
In any organization – whether a church, a business, a family or a government – the climate comes form the top.
The people become like their leaders.
What kind of climate are you setting for people you lead?
17 Discipline your children; you’ll be glad you did—
they’ll turn out delightful to live with.
18 If people can’t see what God is doing,
they stumble all over themselves;
But when they attend to what he reveals,
they are most blessed.
Reflection: (Proverbs 29:18)
“Divine guidance” refers to words from God received by prophets.
Where there is ignorance or rejection of God, crime and sin run rampant.
Public morality depends on the knowledge of God, but it also depends on keeping God’s laws.
In order for nations and individuals to function well, people must know God’s ways and keep His rules.
Having God’s Word means little if we are not obeying it.
19 It takes more than talk to keep workers in line;
mere words go in one ear and out the other.
20 Observe the people who always talk before they think—
even simpletons are better off than they are.
21 If you let people treat you like a doormat,
you’ll be quite forgotten in the end.
22 Angry people stir up a lot of discord;
the intemperate stir up trouble.
23 Pride lands you flat on your face;
humility prepares you for honors.
24 Befriend an outlaw
and become an enemy to yourself.
When the victims cry out,
you’ll be included in their curses
if you’re a coward to their cause in court.
Reflection: (Proverbs 29:24)
This proverb is saying that a thief’s accomplice may not tell the truth when under oath.
Thus, by his participation in the crime and his perjury in the courtroom, he will hurt himself.
Further, a witness who refuses to report a crime becomes an accomplice.
25 The fear of human opinion disables;
trusting in God protects you from that.
Reflection: (Proverbs 29:25)
Fear of people can hamper everything you try to do.
In extreme forms, it can make you afraid to leave your home.
By contrast, fear of God – respect, reverence, and trust – is liberating.
Why fear people who can do no eternal harm?
Instead, trust God who can turn the harm intended by others into good for those who trust Him.
26 Everyone tries to get help from the leader,
but only God will give us justice.
27 Good people can’t stand the sight of deliberate evil;
the wicked can’t stand the sight of well-chosen goodness.